Relationship Magic by Guy Finley

Author:Guy Finley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: relationships;relationship magic;relationship magick;guy finley;couples;inspiration for relationships;empowerment;working on relationships;CVR02122018;CVR02132018
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD.
Published: 2018-09-17T13:29:12+00:00

Why Old “Tried and True” Solutions

Leave You “Black and Blue”

Now that we’ve just about reached the end of this chapter, it’s time to put all of the insights and principles we’ve just studied into personal practice. We’re ready for our first look at a real-time application of relationship magic.

To that end, let’s pick up where we left off in our earlier story when Kathy caught her husband, Stan, with his hand in the proverbial “cookie jar.”

Just as a brief refresher: we left them standing there, face-to-face, on the verge of a fight that was the last thing either of them had expected that evening. Already in pain from feeling betrayed by her friend, Kathy catches Stan in what seems to be an act of breaking his promise to her. Caught off guard, Stan can’t believe that she could be so quick to misjudge him.

While the particular conditions that bring a moment like this to pass might belong to almost any set of coincidences, the outcome remains the same. The pattern of their conflict is prearranged, virtually guaranteed, by all of their earlier disagreements that went unresolved; not unlike a steam kettle—on a slow but steady heat—that finally reaches its inevitable boiling point. Only now, in this instance—and all due to the unfortunate coincidence of two unrelated events—they stand there, glaring at one another, each waiting for their partner to admit the whole painful mess is their fault! And the whole time, both are thinking:

“You owe me an apology for this pain in me; it’s your responsibility—as my partner—to make things right between us.”

We all should know—from having been in similar situations—what comes next if the above demand goes unanswered. The fight escalates until the first part of the pattern plays itself out when—unable to deal with the stress between them—one of them storms away. But the unresolved pain—the opposing forces ultimately responsible for each of these provisional splits between them—lives on to fight another day. Like a kind of dark seed, it waits for the conditions it needs to reappear and play out its uncontested part in a pattern that never seems to come to an end.

It’s with a measure of trust that I ask the following question: can we see something of our own relationships by looking at them through the eyes of Kathy and Stan? If so, two things should be fairly obvious:

First, any ongoing dispute we may have with our partner can’t come to an end until one of us sees that our usual “tried and true” solutions to unsettled differences do nothing to really resolve them. On the contrary, our standard “fix” is actually an unseen part of the very pattern in which we’re stuck! And that brings us to the second obvious point that I promised to reveal above:

The clearer our insight into the real nature of this trap—including our unseen role in it—the nearer we are to enacting the following understanding that alone can shatter it. The only way some painful pattern with our

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